---{@ LeaFie's WorlD @}---

Finding my purpose (Part 2)

2007-08-20T20:26:00.000+08:00

its been a few months since i posted... can say i lazy... can say i busy... jus didn't bother to update.... no as if there's ppl reading this aniwae...

Today was supposed to be a peaceful day... with one event down and the next one only coming next weekend. everything seemed to be moving in slow-mo in the office today.... until my manager left earlier to rest at home (getting sick again)... and i was office alone since 430 onwards....

THEN.... a phone call came... enquiring about a coming up event in sept.... And probably because me being me... wanted to act as if i know everything... went on saying probably 2 sentences more than i should... giving away WAY too much info to the wrong person... which thus... considered my 1st MAJOR MAJOR mistake in the office since these 4 months....

i've been regarded a rather capable assistant and helper so far... and has been complimented (indirectly) for that.... and now this shall destroy whatever i've built so far... (in the eyes of my lady boss) haiz......

i felt so bad about it that when i came home and tell my mummy... i even tear.... maybe i was a little to harsh on myself.. but all i ever wanted to do was to proof myself worthy..

Thus the topic... finding my purpose... i've been told before, that, i'm trying too damn hard to please everyone that mattered... no as in bootlicking.. but generally be nice and helpful and pray that i'll be someone others would like to befriend.. Cos since young... when we went to the temple and pray... they would always say i lacked the people's factor... the bonding with others...
In additional to that, and resulting to an awful incident that happened in sec 3.. i never forgot to be nicer, friendly and willing to be there for others.....

i'm always trying to be my mummy's and daddy's girl... although i'm not that good a sister yet... but i think i'm a fairly good friend... and at work.. i try to make as little mistakes as possible...

But the question is? Is that my purpose in life? To be a person that other people likes?

I think it probably all stems from my inferiority complex + being borned a 2nd Child (always trying to get attention/notice from either good or bad actions).

Yet, there are some that advised me, that i'm still young and try not to think so much, and enjoy what i have now.

i dunno how to end this entry... so i shall leave it as such for now....

Leafie ->ChEcK<-

2007-07-06T09:58:00.000+08:00

I NEED TO FIND A PURPOSE IN LIFE... i need a long term goal.... dun really know whats going on in my life now (AGAIN)....

i'm just coming in to work everyday... taking things at day to day.... earning a standard salary... and be like a normal normal person.....

i didn't use to think it was like tat... i've always tot that i would be someone (better) able to take charge at things, getting into a higher position of mangerial/advisory role . and earning much much more every month...

maybe its because i'm just starting out at work.. in the 'real' world.. and i haven exactly gain that much experience yet.. although some people say i'm young... but there are younger people out there who's done much more than me... (like models earning ridiculous wages like rm3-7k per shoot)!!!!! FINE..i admit i'm not good looking enough....

i've always wanted 'power' and able to have alot of people listening to me, doing the things i say... (hehehe... autocratic)... but my mindset probably changed ... getting tired of being someone in position as it comes with a whole lot of other responsibility and skills needed to iron things out...

- Cut Cut -

I was typing the above until my manager came back from the clinic and it was my turn to go.. by the time i was back from my visit... became bz bz bz arranging for accomodations for my boss's housewarming guest.... then my manager took half day off and i had to rush to boss's house to bring her maid to the clinic again....

then rush here rush there...i met the supposedly 'cute' doctor (that irene claimed) again... this time.. we talked abit longer as he found out wat i was working as and why i was back working in jb instead of sg.... okay la... he's nice lah... but not wat i would classify as 'cute'....

then rush back to boss house... she say i can go home early today.. it was only 2plus at that time... then she ask me just to visit her neighbour for a while before i go.. so i did... and found out wat the neighbour wanted... and i left around half 3...

came home and was a guai guai daughter.. i help my mama clean and mop and wipe things... very tiring... *My ROOM is ALMOST done* can move back to it soon... its BIG... OKII desu ne!!!! then very guai lah.... finish le than papa came home and we went out for dinner...

- Cut Cut Finish -

but at this point of time i dunno how to continue my previous topic le...another day ba.... HAHAHAHAHHAHAH

Archery Com @ NUS 16th -17th June 2007

2007-06-19T14:05:00.000+08:00

Erm... no pixy yet..... Just wan to talk about my exp there...

Hmm.. Day 1 (Sat) was individual shooting.. was there WAYYYYY to early... and there were like tons of students there... Almost all like recurve shooters representing school... (duh... students).... then went for registration and then had lunch at a crappy canteen... with crappy food....

There were around 40 compound shooters... 8 of which are girls.... including 2 of us from JB... (13 of us from Ace Johor)... then suppose to have 2 rounds of 30 shots, 10 ends.... 2 rounds of sighters/practice...

then i just simply simply shoot... haha... 1st round got 5 misses... only 188/300... probably shouldn't say my scores outloud... but... wth... then round 2 even better.. although i was steadier... but my score dropped to 174/300 with 7 misses... these were like VERY VERY near misses... but... still considered miss.. hahahaha

aniwae.... by the end of 2 hours... and the result was out... the best 8 teams can go to the next round for team shooting.. and guess what... the 4 teams from JB got into top 8... hahaha...

so Day 2 (Sun)... i couldn't sleep properly cos i scared i missed my 530 alarm clock... then Ivan came and fetch me ... and we reached NUS at 7am!!!!!!! TOO kiasu le... then loiter loiter around had nasi lemak breakfast (with thanks to Wilford) then the shooting supposedly to start at 830.. ended up starting at 930am.... alot of waiting here waiting there...

then we didn't really wan to shoot... cos we were like 1st place against 8th place...Ace vs Ace.... Terry (1st), Foo (2nd), Adam (5th) VS Stanley, Rachael (3rd), Leaf (4th). ("The placings are from individual category").... but we did quite well.. and i only miss 1 shot out of 8!!!! (-_-") ==near miss==

aniwae we were out too... then came the semi finals... whereby we were clearly the winner... until something happened to Terry's bow... and the 1st place winner actually miss his shot... so they only got a shotout for 3rd/4th team placing....

in the end... Ace Johor actually did quite okay.... 1st-5th place for individual... and 3rd for team =)

by the end of everything i was totally zoink.... and went home to catch up on the much needed sleep.... =)

Quick Update for past few months

2007-06-18T11:55:00.000+08:00

been like ages since i posted... i think more than six months... QUICK RECAP!!!!

JAN-FEB = Loitering around with Winnie the Pooh at the archery range in skudai parade... taken up recurve at first... then switched to compound cos tempted at the fact there are not many compound female shooters... and its rather easy to get into a state team??? then when i just really wanted to get into it... i was offered a job in singapore

end FEB-APR = Worked representing a certain foreign bank... had gain ton and tons of experience meeting loads of bosses and people... gain lots more confidence and speaking capability... but due to another attractive offer by a mutual friend.... i decided to give up the hectic schedule and very fast-paced sales /marketing job for the closer to home stable income job...

MAY-NOW = working peacefully... had busy times and quiet times like now... lots to learn too.. and lots of things to help out in the charity... at least i have a few months all planned out on wats gonna happen and i'm actually quite looking forward to a few events.... BTW i'm working for like a MAIN company but there's a few subsidaries and other commitments tied in to the companies/bosses...

but i'm currently quite happy and have loads of time on my hand to do my compound shooting =)

Eh... I kinda was asked to Quit

2007-01-03T11:12:00.000+08:00

Haiz... there goes my 1 month old career... and i'm here trying to console myself that i'm really not suitable for this industry... haiz...

taking up this job i was still half half... as in half wan half dun wan.. and i just wanted to give it a go and try... but what they wanted was fully committed, enthusiatic and willing to learn people.. i am the latter 2 i guess.. but not the 1st .. so my manager had a review talk with me on 30th dec to so called re confirm my status and get some feedback out of me...

after being called unenthusiatic and stubborn (-_-")... she told me i was given off on 31st dec and i asked for time to think things over... and i was in turmoil.. cos its my first job and i didn't wan to jus leave... and plus i told my friends i would stay at least a year... i mean how could you make a decision after barely 1 month into the job and confirm saying you'll stay there for the rest of ur life... right??? that's exactly what they were asking of me and i couldn't give them a direct answer..

So on 31st... i was happily sleeping until 11am my manager called and told me, " If you decided to quit, please bring in your uniform tomorrow".

I was awake immediately... and i was thinking... what was that supposed to mean? they already expected i would quit.. and until that point i didn't have any real intention of quitting... then that afternoon.. i called my dad and had a chat with him.. and he said... since they can come up with something like that... obviously they have other intentions already... the whole afternoon.. i was in a dilemma... i wanted to prove to them i could do it... but thinking back... i was too restricted in the environment...

Imagine, the first day of work, Boss said... , "What you don't need to know, don't ask. What they don't need to know, don't say." and ask me to steer clear of having good staff relationships... and ask me don't talk unnecessarily.. unless work related... don't even mix with other staff after work... and although i know the reason behind all these.. but asking me to do so is like... 'sha le wo ba'...

haiz.. there are so much in between stories that i feel very 'chang qi' to say here... i'll just wrap it up by telling what happened on 1st Jan 2007 when i went back to work...

i was doing my morning duties, then boss came in around 1030.. then he ask me to stop my things.. say i don't need to do le.. and go into the VIP/office room. then he say he know of my decision le... (i didn't even say anything) then say he already taken into account everything.. he wanted to give me a try but seems like din work out.. say i'm a nice girl.. but maybe abit spoilt.. say he liked me the first time he interviewed me.. say i like his daughter.. then he gave me some words of wisdom... 'ren chi kui yi dian, mei guan xi'.... then say if i needed any referencing for other jobs dun hesitate to put his name...And i smiled brilliantly all thru the talk..

i think they just couldn't believe that sometimes a u-grad would work for them... a young one at that.. and they were so afraid that i would leave that they held back at teaching... (i think something bad happened before that let them instill new policies) but i wasn't even given the chance to prove myself... haiz...

oh.. Boss also praised me.. say maybe I am meant for greater things... (but dunno is words of consolation or what lah) ... last but not lest.. you know what he said... , " I hope you will remain professional about leaving and leave behind all the things here. (severe your ties)".. he dont even allow me to talk to the other staff after i leave.... haiz...

at least i know next time... i cant survive long in such an environment... so no point in staying too long if its soooooo restricted...

Its been... 3 weeks..

2006-12-21T23:14:00.000+08:00

Its about 3 weeks since i started out my new 'career'... Its...rather... routinely that i wake up at 8am.. get out of the house min 835am then take bus.. take mrt.. reach my work place by 930 then spend the morning cleaning the arranging stuff/display... then by noon i will be 'patiently' waiting for my turn to eat lunch... usually the most senior goes first and so on so forth.. i'm MOST junior.. so by the time its my turn its around 230-3pm...

after lunch.. is finding things to do... if no customers.. then is arranging stuff... fold paper box...eh.. wipe table... haha.. then hope the time pass quickly and then start counting down to end of the day... its not as bad as it sounds... just that currently i haven't got the chance to start talking... (sales), all i can do is observe... see.. watch.. listen.. learn... therefore is slightly boring for me..

but around 3plus in the afternoon.. the lady boss comes in and i dunno why i jus realli realli like her... she's jus so cute... and she doesn't look or act too much her age... haha.. and she comes in and gossips with us... sometimes also motivate me and talk to me regarding other stuff other than work.. and the best part is i won't get scolded by boss (who doesn't believe in chatting)... haha.. cos is his bao bei lao po talking to us... hehehe

currently thats my whole work schedule.. and i should be getting my uniform soon... and i'm the first gal to be able to wear my uniform less than one month of work... but been getting alot of comments regarding my appearance... apparently.. everyone at my work place is DAMN THIN.. and so skinny and thus the uniform looks good on them... but when i test out the uniform.. everybody say i bao ba zhang.. and its really not good for the soul... haiz... but what to do... i din bother to explain that i've already lost some weight... doesn't really matter does it..

so all i can do is continue to eat my meagre breakfast... one full lunch and end my day with that.. cos if i take dinner at 9pm.. i'm onli gonna get fatter..haiz... wat to do when ppl onli see things the way they wan to see it (one sided).. never go and further understand or question the situation... but the worst thing is my boss... he ask me to lose weight.. i ask him how.. he say like him loh.. don't eat... then next day... i haven had lunch and it was around 330pm... then he was like very concerned and ask me go get my lunch... *confusing*

aniwae.. thats about my latest update regarding work

I found a Career...?!?!

2006-12-02T12:14:00.000+08:00

It happened in like 2 days time and everything was confirmed and done... And now i'm walking towards my career.... something that might need a few years to be successful in.

I received a call from a consultancy agency.. then he informed me that the position i was looking at this 'jewellers' place is so and so... and listed everything i need to know regarding the job and ask me to send in my resume so that he could secure an interview for me... that time was around 10pm at night...

i was kind of excited as he told me it was a high-end, international tourist based kinda like jewellery shop which is located at orchard.... so first thing i tot of it of course Cartier or Tiffany's.... so of course i agree to everything he said....

by next morning around 11am.. he called and asked me to go for an interview at orchard...and the finally revealed the information of the shop and exact location... i wasn't quite far off the mark.. in other words it was opposite of cartier and tiffany's.... Lucky Plaza.....(-_-")... i was really quite put off by that.. but on the other hand pressured by the guy on the phone ....

so i rushed down to orchard to the interview... and it turns out if i'm gonna be in this line ... its gonna be quite a few years.. and i mean like 5-10 years... and telling someone like me.. a fresh grad.. that i need to put 10 years into this... seemed... VERY VERY VERY VERY TERRIFYING!!!! seemed... so i kinda put it off... saying that i need to discuss this with my parents and say they might have some objections.. i think the boss could see my hesitation and he gave me the weekend to reply him.....

that was around 2.30pm in the afternoon.. and i continue pondering over choices... my friend was also helping me get a job at her coy.. and i was pending for a few other jobs... and i continued comparing.. constrasting.... had a talk with my dad too... and finally i decided to take it... and i called up the boss at 8pm to confirm my decision and i start on the coming Monday.

afterall its not such a bad choice... i get to learn a skill and its something that will never be outdated.. i mean who would ever be sick of diamonds, stones, gems etc.... and even if i put 5 years of my life there.. i'm still wat... 25? and who knows.. i might be sooo proficient at it i'll be an expert and someone else might just hire me off... hehehehe... *pure optimism*

anyway... this is the new step i have chosen.. and hopefully i will not regret it and make the best out of it...

Here I Am (again)

2006-11-23T02:27:00.000+08:00

Sianz... BACK AT SQUARE ONE... dunno leh.. i did try didn't i ... went to a few interviews but no replies... resumes sent but no reply... WHAT TO DO!!!! sianz

I was looking at my previous blogs in the previous webby... so FARNIE... little bits and pieces of my life back in UK.. some i think i almost forgotten... My one year over there seemed more like a memory or a dream... cos it happened too fast and finished too fast...

sometimes i would dream i was back in UK... like continuation or something.. think its about 3 times i dreamt of it.. got scenarios where i go to sch and see all my frens, catch up.. and pick up where i've left off

oh.. if anyone interested to read my previous rubbish, you are welcome to at Leafy but the colour abit the bright and alot of punctuations errors... and then my tag box also not working and i too lazy to change it... =) Thats why i have this NEW blog... hehe

All about me...

2006-11-03T01:55:00.000+08:00

Found a rather interesting horoscope webby.. VERY ACCURATE too...

Sagittarians

Totally describes a Sagittarian to the core..

Jiun Jiun told me examples of ppl using blogs to vent their frustrations and voice out whatever they cannot say in real-life/everyday life....And alot of blogs I read sometimes write very meaningful and interesting stuff about 'Life', 'News' etc... but I use my blog to talk about me, myself and I... Very self-centered? But writing about urself won't offend other ppl.. cause if write about A & B & C..then unluckily someone A, B or C suddenly read your blog and then read something they shouldn't have read or interpret certain things wrongly.. then die.. alot of misunderstandings le... So i better don't think so much about other ppl and keep writing my own stuff and stay in my own LaLa Land... haha

So.. about me... still unemployed... still looking for jobs.. still stuck at square 1... (-_-") Dad keep saying i get too brainwashed by MLM ppl le (since i was 18).. then think that office jobs or 'normal' jobs is beneath me... hmm.. I don't think so.. I just feel that I really don't want to spend the next 20-30 years of my life sitting at a desk... Even if its a routine job.. I want something that can move around.. walk up and down.. in and out..

Although i seriously don't mind hard work... i'm not afraid or OTs and working over weekends.. (but ppl don't seem to believe me) but i need to find something I LIKE! A job i willing to die for...

But dad says," Just go find a job and support yourself. If don't like then change, can keep on changing until you like."

Hmm.. maybe I REALLY THINK TOO MUCH... (same goes for for BFs) like I don't have any cos i don't want to commit and put all my 'xin xue' inside then turns out i'm not gonna marry him de... But sometimes if you don't try hor.. you'll never know how things will turn out right? Hmm.... the more i type the more i seem to make sense to myself...

SO this is WHY !

The reason behind me for not having a BF and a Job... the fear of commitment...the fear of committing to the wrong things. Because i believe once i fully concentrate and commit to something i want.. that's it... It's part of my nature? maybe i'll have a long talk with dad tomorrow about this...

Long time no BloG

2006-10-25T21:20:00.000+08:00

Some 'person' complained that my blog has never been updated for more than roughly 3 months.. K LAH... lazy + busy ma... besides not much ppl read my blog.. then i jus have to repeat all my stories to each of my frens again and again onli.... (-_-")

So.. these past 2-3 months.. I've been dieting and exercising in hopes of getting slightly in shape to go for interviews for jobs... i mean.. you dun wan to give ppl bad impressions ma..

"wah this fat girl.. like that also dare to come for job interview.. faster go back look at the mirror first"

although most ppl wun say but thier heart and mind will think like tat... so bo pian have to sacrifice...

in the meanwhile of my regime.. i got a part time job as waitress loh... good environment.. good ppl.. good manager.. hmm.. ok benefits (50% off at Friday's and Italiannies) ... but bad pay.. hahah.. what to do.. part onli ma.. plus some more is in JB.. its kinda standard rate... but the money i earn hor.. hahaha cant survive lah.... spending power TOOOO great le... have to start to 'su sui' abit... but i just quit also.. hahha... gotta start finding work in sg. haiz

What else have i been doing... hmm.. everyday 'talking LOUDLY' with my mum... cos she very irrational and unreasonable about certain stuff... disagreement of opinions.. my dad everyday throw newspaper at me... *hint* *hint* , my sis in sg.. supposedly studying for her O's and my bro cannot be seen.. think onli saw him less than 20 times for the past 3 months

Just been to Kl also.. for the Deepa Raya Holiday... met up with my UK frens.. had a great time together and was also very tiring.. cos havta wake up early for several days in a row and go to bed quite late... then plus i like just release from jail.. eat everything in sight.. (-_-") there goes my diet... have to start ALL OVER AGAIN... hence my MSN nick.. (it also indicates i have to start over and find job.. )

and while i was in kl.. Bengy introduced 2 frens to me.. and i think i'm realli 'diao qi lai mai' .. expectation and standards too high... 1 is 30 .. 1 is 22.. the 30 year old guy... looks.. cannot... the 22 year old looks 16... although can look past that fact but the stuff he talked about i also bored...

Dunno whats wrong with me... mum keep asking me to get boyfriend and pak tor.. but i jus dun wan loh... not that i'm lesbian.. but i jus cant seem to find a guy i realli realli like .. ppl say takes time... wan to take until wat time then come oh... haiz...

First few days back....

2006-08-02T16:02:00.000+08:00

Haiz... today is wednesday... lets start from sunday...

Met with a super thin Sin Kang at Don... had dinner together but din chat alot.. cos got 2 extras there.. so i meeting sin kang again on thursday..

Monday... started my dieting regime.. erm.. din do much also lah... jus relaxing around...oh.. i visited wannie, jia yee and family.. and i saw wannie BABY!!!! ARGh!!! so cute

Tuesday. picked up my darling and YC for tea drinking session... and gave them thier pressies... i saw my godson... 7 months old...!!! KAWAIIIIIIII

total saw 4 babies... in 4 days !!! 1 nephew, 1 niece, 1 fren daughter and my godson... !!!! ah!!!!! all like me 'i hope'... they are soooo cute.. maybe i need to include babysitting or opening childcare centre as a possible future work options!!!! i love babies....

Wednesday... got picked up by Kah ming for lunch with another girl.. then he brought me to return my comic, get a repaired radio... and then go ask for my langauge tuition course... we came back to my comic shop.. cos he say wan to loan some books... the moment we stepped into the shop i turn my back and walked straight out.. cos of all ppl... i saw HIM... WHY!!!! WHY!!!! i continue walking and call kahming i will wait for him at KS...

i tired calling my darling and YC but i cant get them.. but after sitting here for almost an hour i think i've calm down... haiz...what the f**k is wrong with me

KLM vs MAS

2006-08-02T15:37:00.000+08:00

The day i was suppose to fly back was filled with alot of incidents and events... starting off on the thursday where i was meeting all my frends for goodbyes... got a present from michael.. and michelle..

michelle was also supposed to treat me to a italian dessert, but unfortunately our side trip to the casino made me miss it... aniwae she sent me back to my place and took my rubbish and other stuff away with her on her way out... and after i bathe around midnight.. i realise she took my passport and wallet out too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but she made it back within an hour... (-_-")

I reach the airport within 15 mins.. which was about 310am.. the bloody KLM check-in booth was not open until 4am.. so have to wait again.. check-in time.. i dun hve the ticket.. then the lady ask me go to another counter to get my ticket... which opens at 4.15am... wait again..then she dunno wat then put a sticker on my ticket and ask me go check in again... say that i can onli fly to amsterdam and my ticket to kl have to ask at the MAS booth there or something.. so go back check-in again...

Bag overweight.. so have to repack and take out some stuff.. so in the end overweight 9kg.. have to go back to the counter (that i take my ticket) to pay the excess baggauge... then she tell me i have to get out of the amsterdam airport and then re check in for my other flight.. then she say she got no idea about my flight to KL..!!! STONE!!! i was almost in tears that my worst nightmare has come true... then i say i have my flight number leh.. how can you say i'm not assigned a ticket that sort of thing... then she recheck and say she found it.... *damn* gave me an heart attack..

so it was almost 515am when she finished and i make my payment... but... my credit card was declined... bloody hell.. i dun have 100 pounds..then i had to run across to the bureau exchange and change my euros to pounds... then run back again... by then is was 525am... and then i had to go back and re check-in AGAIN!!!!

but all in all i was grateful i didn't miss the flight.. and i was on my way to amsterdam before i knew it.. but the flight was very unbearable as i was quite sick yet i was sit'ted' near to the engines.. and therefore gave me a major migraine+headache+going to die 1hr experience.

but the 12 hr flight on MAS was realli quite nice.. with personal tv screen.. and blankie and nice soft pillow... pretty air stewardess... nice service.. hehe... had a realli enjoyable time ... keep counting down the hours that i'll be touching down while following the satellite tracking of the plane... hehehe

Almost there...

2006-07-17T20:31:00.000+08:00

10 days since i posted... Busy Busy day today... and i even had a bad start when my new flatmate started talking on the phone at 3.45 in the morning..!!! WTH!! Excuse me loh... other ppl sleeping leh.. u wan talk can talk more softly ma.. or pick another time/location... SOOO INCONSIDERATE... in the end i jus gave up sleeping and online to talk with my ah ba..

i slept back at 7 plus i think then i missed my alarm clock and woke up at 10.. my Hair appointment was at 10.. so in the end the ben dan girl at the hairdresser say cos i late then say have to rebook in another day... suan le.....

then went to town to buy scotch tape to tape my box that i am gonna ship back.. buy le then go pick a present for Lynne on behalf of my ah yee... then then... went to close my bank account, go school collect invititation, print/photocopy documents and going to get my results later... wah...

after that have to go back home and start packing my box... i'm halfway thru packing my clothes le... then for the next 2 weeks also very very busy.. going to london tomorrow coming back on thursday then have to go straight to the hairdresser.. friday is graduation ceremony...

serene decided to go all out and party on saturday night and i'm gonna have a farewell dinner on sunday night.. Monday , tuesday and wednesday will be in scotland, edinburgh.. back by wednesday.. to continue finish all my stuff and thursday will be my last day here and flying back on friday morning... haiz..

its been great... being here. making all my very very good friends.. will miss the people.. my drama ppl, dance society... shoping in newcastle.. cooking my burnt food.. hahaha.. finally gonna see my mum and dad again...

RESULTS ...

2006-07-04T23:29:00.000+08:00

OMG... i was too tired to bother to come to school at first.. but bengy called.. silent mode so i din know.. then serene text and i heard the beep...

"Hey Leaf! Bengy jus called said we both me n u go 2.1!"

OMG.... i couldn't believe my eyes.. i woke up in a start... then called to confirm and double confirm.. and then came out to the school and have a look for myself.. it was .. slightly unexpected and very very very pleasant.. at least that goes to show i can do it when i put in the effort... =x hahha... afterall the struggles and pains and depression and the mixed feelings its kinda worth it.. haha..

Ask my mum to call me so i could tell her the news.. and my dad and my sis.. i also told my mum about the paris thingie.. where i went alone rather than with friends.. i mean.. since its over already... its safe to tell them the truth.. they cant worry about it anymore right... hehe... Just chilling now.. gonna go town with serene and have a walk around.. =) Today is a sunny day, beautiful day...

Back Journey ---- exhuasting

2006-07-04T23:13:00.000+08:00

Got back from Paris yesterday... tiring.. started waking up around 8ish in the morning, left the 'hotel' at 9 plus reach the station at 10am.. but cant check in until 1050. Then after i check in and loiter around until 12 for the boarding...Slept abit on the train and play my gameboy... jus very restless... finally reached london at 2pm.. then i went straight to borders to get books and sat in the starbucks to pass the long hours before my train back to newcastle...

while i was in starbucks... i was reading and reading and reading until i almost fell asleep then and there.. haha.. dunno why the starbucks coffee cant make me awake but the coffee bean one can.. haha.. then i called michelle talked for abit and then continued reading... it was around 730 before i left starbucks and make my way to kings cross... and i realised it was onli 2 stops away from oxford circus... so i sat down in kings cross again.. hoping my train would arrive earlier and then allow me to get onboard and sleep....

surprisingly the train was rather empty.. not much ppl was there.. so i had the next seat to me all to myself... and i've finished reading the book i've bought earlier on... then i started to feel rather sick. jus tired sick.. my brain was functioning but my body wasn't.. like exhuastion of some kind... weird... then i was jus very 'bu shu fu' tossing and turning and trying to seat in a better position... but jus felt very very tired.. wanted to fly straight home to lie on my bed...

by the time i reach newcastle its already 1am.. i took a cab home.. =x... so nice to be back in my room... in my own familiar stuff.. first thing i did was to shower and unpack and arrange my things.. by the time i organized my stuff i was ready to online and upload my pictures and settle in for the night.. it was realli realli exhuasting ..

Musee Du Lourve

2006-07-02T20:18:00.000+08:00

oooo.. The famous pyramid of Paris 'Le Louvre' .... been there 3 times (outside) today finally go inside... i picked up a brochure are says certain musuems are open on the 1st Sunday of every month and just nice i'm here on this 1st sunday of july.. so i intended to spend whole day there yet i got bored of looking at dead things.. the paintings intrigue me for a while but i got bored of it after a while too.. then just nice i was directed to enter the louvre from the left wing.. where the mona lisa painting was at.. so i pass by it loh.. then SOOOO many ppl squeezing in front of it.. and i really dunno what is SOOOOOO happening about it loh... i realized i fallen for another big piece.. the coronation of Napolean 1st and Josephine... that pic i just couldn't take my eyes of it.. i saw it in Versailles and they have a replica in Louvre also .. and its just amazing

Then i was looking at several realli life-like paintings and was admiring the way the paintist 200-300 years ago can be so LI HAI... now got camera, got digital stuff can edit and do amazing stuff but last time.. they have soo much talent... and the ability to do portraits and stuff so real... and i was really wondering how on earth can they perform such miraculous feats of art....

aniwae.. i left the lourve and headed back to the internet cafe to online... hehe.. rest my feet lah... haiz... tomorrow going back loh....

Chataeu de Versailles

2006-07-02T19:36:00.000+08:00

1st July 2006:

supposedly to wake up earlier but didn't have a good rest again... (dunno why cant sleep properly in france) then got ready and went off to the station around 830 or 9am i think... reach the versailles place around 10am... ALOT of ppl... then i start queuing loh.. under the scorching sun... siao liao.. cos i wear black top, black shorts and black stocking!!!! burning like siao..line up another hours or so..

by 11am i got into the insides of the chataeu... its more like a VERY VERY VERY big mansion rather than a castle.. no moat or the anything like proper defense stuff linked with those olden castle(sieges and battles).. this chataeu is relatively new.. abuot 300 plus years old.. originated by King Louis XIII but is Lous XIV that realli done up the place and instilled all the works.. the bloody garden is damn huge.. i took about 200-300 pics.. then the 'french revolution' took place and thus became abandoned and stripped of its stuff.. then got this Phillip-Auguste something decided to turn it into a musuem and tribute it as a french historical place of interest and restore watever was damaged.. realli very interesting

then i spend so much time walking around my feet hurt... damn pain man.. then i think i missed visiting the 'private apartments' section and went on the the exterior ground where the gardens are... then got another like trianon place where the kings/queen retired to when they dun wan be in court and have to take tram there cos if walk i will become a roasted jelly fish... then have to pay another 5,80euro... the entrance fee for the 'passeport de jour' was 20 euros plus audio guides includes access to all grounds so quite worth it... realli impressed with what the damn flithy rich royalties do to make themselves soooooo impressive...

everything was done will so much money and time and effort... the painters, sculptures, architects etc etc... i keep imagining wats its like to be a lady of the court.. going to balls and attending all these soirees and events of that time... always like the english society back then...

aniwae, back to me exploring the place... hmmm.. currently cant think of anything to add... was jus very very very tired and was realli happy that i went to that place..

Je suis à Paris - I'm in Paris

2006-06-30T23:37:00.000+08:00

In a nearby internet cafe onlining.. cost 1 euro/hour.. not bad lah.. total $ spend these 3 days is ard... <150 euro? food and travelling. Still got 3 more days left.. Saturday is gonna visit Chataeu Versailles.. Sunday is whole day is Le Louvre, apparently its gonna be free of charge.. Just nice there was this promotion thingie going on for the Chateau and allowing free admission and Le Louvre is free admission for every first sunday of the month and this sunday is the 2nd July... hehe.. By rights, both places is meant to be explored using 2 days each.. well, i'll just have to make do and walk faster. Will be waking up very early for both days going exactly at opening times and coming back at closing times..

Updates continuation

29th June 2006:
Didn't sleep well the night before as was my 1st day of period gua... was just tossing and turning in bed and just couldn't rest properly. Wanted to go out earlier for the Eiffel Tour queue but gave up .. i went out ard 10ish passed by the Eiffel and had abit of lunch below the tower, and got a artist approached me for a sketch, i asked him how much is it gonna cost, he say there are no obligations and i can don't buy after he drew it.. so i sat there getting drawn, was talking and found out he's an italian, been in France for 9 years, doing fashion design and drawing/sketching is his part time job...

in the end he say he will give me half of children price for the skecth if i kiss him on the cheek.. haha. and i did.. jus a more cheek to cheek peck =x.. haha but after that i felt that i should have bargain for more.. like even lesser price then i give him 2 pecks =x.. hahha

After Eiffel Tower, i walked along the gardens to another site.. just taking pics here and there... and the sun was DAMN HOT... realli buay tahan.. then took metro to Notre Dame thingie.. I din't know is free of charge and i din go line up for it.. wasted.. jus walk by and took some pics.. then i went to a place called Sainte-Chapelle where the insides are all made of thousand and thousand pieces of stained glass, and each stretched of stained glass tells a different story.. really impressive.. i still dunno how to put pics in blog.. so if wan to see have to go my multiply site to see.

After that i went back to the hotel to bathe... and rested awhile. planning to go out after night fall to take some nite shots.. In the end i slept until 10ish, cause the sky still haven turned dark. i left ard 1030 and went to Arc de Triomophe. It was really nicelt lit and magnificent, i got someone to take a pic of me, then have to rush abit cos the last metro is 1230am. Then next stop is the Lourve, i took some nice pics of the lights in the pyramid.. and i was trying to find the spot whereby Tom Hanks walked in the middle and kneel down there.. but i can't find it.. dunno where is it.. hmmm.. will try to find it on Sunday again. Then went back to hotel after that and sleep again.

30th June 2006:
Woke up quite late.. about noon time.. cos there's not much to do today... Just visiting the La Fayette's aka Harrods place in Paris and the famous Rue de St. Honore where all the branded goods are... then while on the way to St Honore.. i passed by a JAPANESE RESTAURANT.. and i just couldn't resist.. been watching too much NARUTO and him eating ramen.. and i just have to go in and have a bowl too.. and the waiter was actually japonais but speaks french... damn interesting.. the chef.. is indian and spoke french while preparing japanese food. wat is the world coming too. then sitting next to me was a lady who looked japonaise.. but spoke french to the waiter..hahha.. i was dumbstruck.. i jus stuck to english.. i wanted to talk more to the waiter but he was kinda 'cold'.. so i just took a pic of the shop.. hehe.. then i went to starbucks... got a Paris City cup for YC and a coffee for me.. cos really damn hot.. now in the internet cafe for 2 hrs le.. trying to finish off this blog and go back hotel bathe.. k lah.. i think thats all for today..... i'm actually back again to edit some parts i missed out

Newcastle => London => Paris Travel Joruney

2006-06-30T22:50:00.000+08:00

hmmm.. where should i start?? okie... start from the journey down to london first ba..

27th June 2006:
ooo... here should got an exposition.. will put it in another blog.. okie.. continuing.. din't sleep for the night due to another episode of hysterics.. but i think i did get 2 hrs sleep before forcing myself to wake up at 7ish and call jon.. meeting at the station at 830.

then got on quite a comfy bus.. but wasn't in the mood to talk so just slept my way thru.. woke up on and off then got a stop at some dunno wat place on the way down. then i went to toilet and buy snack... and the cashier was this VERY cute boy... but i jus took my sweets and went off. cos no point also..

then back on bus bing qiang called and asked about my trip.. i told him blah and blah.. then ask me to take care... then my dad called when i was sleeping and left a voice message asking me to call back..

i did... he was telling me about the events and incident of France about 6 months ago and was quite concerned about my safety. i felt bad.. cos i know he very worried and concerned about me.. but i'm lying to him.. although i am going down to london with a guy fren and the guy fren is meeting his sis... we will not be together after that... i'm on my own.. zi shen zi mie.. but i dun dare say to me dad cos i know he will even more worry de... so i very guilty say i will take care of myself.. and he also keep asking if i got enough money with me etc etc.. always cried on the bus.... (-_-")..

then we reached london, i brough the 'girl' ard to buckingham palace cos he never been there before.. just walk round abit.. then separate , he go find his sis i went to teresa's house. but agnes wasn't home yet.. so i waited nearby the place until 7pm before i was let in ... then watch football together with her and the bf.. then they very hospitable making me feel very at home..

28th June 2006:
woke up ard 11ish, everyone has left the house and agnes asked me to pass her the house key when i leave..so after packing my stuff.. i went out ard 2pm to the nearby hospital to find her (she works as a nurse) so i was waiting for her to come out and i suddenly have a realization that nursing is a very 'shen sheng' work.. very wei da... hmm... then we said our farewell and i took the bus to waterloo...

on the way thru i saw a sight of london i din see before, quite interesting.. then i went to board my eurostar... kinda like board airplane but faster..

Excerpt: i almost forgot a damn embarassing incident.. hmm. imagine.. i was wearing a tube top dress (which was actually supposed to be a skirt)and jeans, and a sweater thingie.. i was carring a bag pack.. okie so i was trying to get my bag pack on to the top rack of the train and guess wat happen... (luckily i was seated near the end of the train) my bloody top kinda got pull down... like when u raise ur hand then the top didn't raise as well and stayed where it was.. so it was like 5 secs before i reacted... i looked down and tried not to panicked and pulled my top back up to cover my 'exposing' bra ... and to my knowledge.. i think only 1 guy was staring intently at me.. a quite good looking one in suit... i dun even have the time to blush.. i just quickly settle down on my seat and never move until the train reached paris. even when the train reached paris. i try not to look back at the guy and make my way out of the cabin asap.... hahahahhha

Slept on and off the 3 hr journey to paris.. see alot of green fields and very nice pastures.. the 'gare du nord' was not as nice as i expected.. tot is would resemble kings cross.. but not.. then i angered the ticket vendor person... cos he pas comprend wat i wan... in the end i bought a 5 day 5 zone ticket.. just to save myself and him from more mistakes... then the metro right.. WORSE THAN LONDON.. it was soooo damn packed.. then i always have to take the second train (-_-")

finally i found my "l'hotel" much worse than i expected... it was supposedly to be a hotel but turn out worse than a bed and breakfast.. as it doesn't even provide breakfast.. i open the door and inside is empty, one bed, 2 chair, one basin, a so called wardrobe, a table... i looked high and low for a power plug and alas, i found one miserable looking one...

another interesting fact.. toilet is outside by the stairs.. but where is the bloody shower.. the bed and breakfast in london i went at least have a proper shower place.. here?!?! i was abit taken aback.. thinking: i've gotta survive 5 days without a shower?!! get real! so after unpacking abit, i ask the reception guy and he showed me to a shower place on the 1st floor where i could use... alright.... i'm on 2nd floor and i've gotta come to ground floor for the shower.... beggars cant be choosers.. so i jus gotta make do

it was quite tiring travelling like tat, and it was rather lonely... although it was quite expensive to text i still did.. trying to talk with my frends back in newcastle.. at that time i was thinking.. OMG 5-6 more days of these loneliness... how am i gonna survive...

12th June 2006

2006-06-12T21:10:00.000+08:00

another... 46 days.... and counting to my flight.... been very very very very bored at home... no one to talk to .. everyday youtubing watch farnie shows, anime, crappy stuff... had wanted to lvl up my maple char... got kinda got bored of it

football on tele doesn't interest me alot ... cant bet on it.. (not that i'm a gambler) but... jus so alone.. cant stand the loneliness

Recent Trips:

I've been Alnwick Castle aka one of the film sites for Harry Potter... lovely place, lovely scenery ... inside the keep there were tons and tons of treasures... but becos its the Duke & Duchess of Northumberland's winter home.. we cant take any pics inside.. could onli marvel at all the artwork, furniture, extensive and ancient library etc.. it was realli an experience.. thinking how fortunate to be born of a 'royal' blood.. riches and splendour you cant even use finish for generations to come..

Been to york also.. din't do much sightseeing, jus went to the deisgner outlet store to do some shopping.. spent quite alot here.. worst thing is, i bought things not for myself but for my frends.. i think the total amount i've spent on my frens thru out my time here amount to.... 200-300 pounds? thats ALOT.. but wat to do.. all my dear frens

Future Trips:

Going to Paris on the 28th June - 3rd July... supposed to be a 3 person trip.. Me jon and the sister... but due to unforeseen circumstances and individualistic personalities... i'm on my own.. got the tickets and accomodations booked.. i wanted to change my return date to 1st July but unfortunately the bloody e***star dun do refunds or changes for single tickets...

so i'll be in paris for 5 days all by myself.. sightseeing and finding things to do.. i hope i can use my limited french vocab and grammar to converse.. kinda testing my endurance and independability..

After that, i'll be making a short trip to london with serene, cos of last min changes in her parents plans.. i will be accompanying her to sightsee either the stonehedge or the greenwich thingie for our 2 day trip there... and be back on 20th july

time realli flies... i'll soon be back home again... part of me wants to go back and part of me is reluctant... cos of the incredible amount of weight and meat i've put on.. kinda like shameful to go back so much bigger size then before i came.. haiz.. but its inevitable..

"old" news

2006-06-12T21:07:00.000+08:00

2nd June 2006

EXAM TODAY…. Got a few hours of sleep beforehand.. woke up at 7ish.. totally cannot remember anything like tat loh… then went to school at 830.. in the exam room still ok loh.. then the questions are exactly like I spotted them.. .but I really dun recall wat I wrote or studied… so in the end sat there waiting time to pass while others dun have time to write finish… I felt quite ill about the last half an hour.. I was like dizzy and got wan to vomit feeling.. but dunno why… then I sat it thru and hand in the paper lo…

Then the 4 of us went Chinatown makan again… before we went to casino.. hehhe.. then we too early go the casino haven open.. haha.. opens at 2pm-6am… then we went to buy movie ticket for x-men 3 and drag time before going back to casino… I won like 20 pounds at first… then too greedy la.. in the end lost 35.. sianz.. my popcorn money no more… then I check my acc got about 900 left…

900 to last me 2 months + york trip + Manchester trip + Paris trip …. Erm.. dunno can make it anot.. but my mummy and daddy love me too much … keep asking enough anot.. and say they would send more if I need it to travel =x

But like not good right?? Cos I got ‘told off’ by a someone saying I shouldn’t keep spending my parents money … make me guilty onli… aniwae.. continue with my day…

After watching the movie.. then damn tired.. so go home sleep loh… then Miss Wang call me ask me to out wor… before her my ‘ex-leader’ already asked me… I din reply.. really didn’t wan to go one.. she keep insisting loh.. then serene also wan go. .Then I told them I go sleep first,. Later wake up then say… 9pm I woke up Miss Wang text me say dun wan go le.. so ok loh.. go back sleep… 1030pm… got loud banging on the flat door… serene calling me to wake up… say everyone waiting for me… zha dao… so fast fast get ready then go le loh

Then at blu bamboo still ok ba… EVERYTIME we go me always become transparent de.. WHY? Cos ALL THE GUYS onli ‘da shan’ serene… right in front of me loh… like I invisible de… sian… and today really got quite a lot of ppl ‘da shan’ also… especially got one freak… really sot liao de… he resembles my ‘ex-leader’ damn a lot.. the way he try to dance and not jump… then his look and attitude… when he approach us I straight away stop dancing le.. then he dun get the message.. then I siam to the side… he follow and try to pull me back.. I give hand signal say NO.. still dun understand.. in the end we move across the dancefloor and try to get away from him hor… you know wat he do… smart… FOLLOW US… then we got out of the dance floor… he still came over… then got fellow Malaysian fren saw us loh… then one whole group of guys ‘protect’ us by making a circle ard the girls and let us dance in the middle… HAHAH… so we tot we lost him … NOT

He came back loh… then we keep siaming again.. sibei toot leh.. cant get the message one.. then the Malaysian fren all go back to their seats.. me and serene continue dancing the idiot fellow still trailing us… then I told serene, “he think we playing hide-and-seek issit, toot leh… DUN GET THE MESSAGE DE” .. cos so obvious le… same same like my ex-leader loh… really wanted to get the bouncer to hantam him le…

Haiz.. other than that incident got meet 2 scots.. they were wearing kilts.. damn cute.. so we took photo with them.. another ok thing was cos one of the scot approach me first instead of serene.. hahha.. (maybe I was closer) but anyway… hahha quite cute

Okie lah.. this is today’s story… going to call my mummy le…

18th May 2006

Got told off by someone cos I din’t ‘adhere’ to a proper schedule of eating, sleeping doing work etc… not the main story today….

Today morning… slept at 5am? Then set my alarm wake up at 830am to finish my ciritical evaluation for my LAST assignment… got up at 9am.. but I still cant manage to finish it.. (due at 3pm) so I went off to school ard 1pm to finish up the rest and check on my validation of my webby again… and I finally got it validated.. so happi… then I spent the rest of the time trying to finish the evaluation.. then submitted at 3pm promptly…

Then as usual, the ‘malaysian’ gang = me, serene, benjy and jon went to town eat dim sum… haha.. first time in Newcastle eat.. not bad…. Like the one I ate in London.. also the price not overly ex also.. after that we decided we want to go watch da vinci code.. I actually was planning to go home to sleep after I’ve submitted everything… cos quite tired… but then I think when u get past the point of being tired.. u aren’t anymore.. so we all went to ‘check’ the time for the show.. we decided to pass thru the casino to the movie theatre… before we get thru half the casino… our dear jon sat down and start playing slots… wah.. it was ard 5-6pm I think… then me bengy and serene nothing to do then we decided to take mahjong go play… and to prevent mr jon from OVERSPENDING.. we took his winnings and his bankcard… hehhe

So we were playing playing… jon came down…started playing 2 rounds then he won.. then bengy ‘paid’ him money and return his bankcard…. Then after another round hor… he keep saying.. 3 players no need to have so much tiles.. and he stood up and left… wah seh … win! He con us back for his $$ (-_-“)… then we continue playing out mahjong as he left for his slots… then not long after we were hungry again.. ard 8plus already.. and then we asked the waitress how much was the sandwiches.. she told us it was free.. !!! so good… then bengy say.. ya lah.. jon paying them ma… hahhahha

By 1030ish I was quite sian of mahjong so I went to watch jon play his slots… (he won quite a lot)…. But by the time we were ready to go off for movie he lost qi qi ba ba liao…hahha.. so addicted to gambling one wor…. Even when we left for the movie.. he didn’t get in until all the advertisement and trailers started… and even after we finished watching the movie… 3am.. he went back in !... haiyo

Aniwae… was jus quite happy with everything that happened today.. and wanted to write it down… =)

Angry & Upset

2006-05-14T22:04:00.000+08:00

Past few days have been stuck in sch... doing my webby.. it finally take shape liao.. and i SOOOO proud of myself. Cos i can "OFFICIALLY" say all the work is I DO ONE. got ask few people questions but the rest is all i typed out and everything working all the errors is i solve de... ureshii desu.

so wed, thurs, fri and yesterday sat.. i was in pandon from like morning 11am-12pm to night 12am. Then me and serene working so dilligently on the webby. My other friend Miss Wang, who had another asssignment to hand in on last friday haven started on her website yet. So i was kinda urging her to do it.. else last min we all have to do it for her also..

But yesterday afternoon-evening time... I found out something. There was this china guy who was good at php was like 'supervising' around and was a frend on benjy's.. so we kinda asked him some questions regarding our errors etc... and while we were talking.. he mentioned that he did a copy of the webby for Miss Wang... so this was the 'frend' that Miss Wang was talking about that has gone for holiday and who 'haven't come back' and she couldn't contact him to help us when we were struggling with php...

So we are supposed to upload all our webby to the internal ftp server.. and we can actually view other people's work too. And when i open her link.... guess what.. I finished copy of the website.. voila.. on her page bearing her name... *fire* this feeling of anger, betrayal then sadness.. i actually texted her and said," you are REALLY a good friend. Thank you very much". Knowing she probably wun know what i'm tokking about, she would call me.. and i told her i don't wan to speak to her.. i was just.. furious.. almost in tears...

haiz.. its like she was trying to explain that it was a misunderstanding... and after the whole episode.. and i had time to think thru.. i could come up with 2 solutions.. she either is a damn good actress or she realli was innocent.. (that she didn't know her frend finished the website for her)... i realli dunno what my reaction would be when i do see her... thats why i didn't wan to tok to her last night.. cos i knew my anger would get the better of me.. i think she was quite panicky too cos i've never been so angry with her ever... and i rarely do get this angry..

this is kinda like what you would get when u put 150% of ur honesty/trust into a friendship and then realised you've been backstabbed and betrayed... its kinda similar 'ai qing' when u realised that the someone you actually like/love talks about someone they like/love (unknowingly).. i was quite surprised too that i was able to feel anything .. i tot i was already immune to it, since it happened soo many times before. haiz.....

now... i guess i need to cool down somemore.. and then talk things out with Miss Wang... i dun wan to lose a special friendship becos of this ...

friends are important... thats what i learnt and i would keep as many as possible

Shopping Day

2006-05-10T22:44:00.000+08:00

i was thinking and thinking wat to post today... hmmmmm then i tot of what i did today and voila... hahhah my shopping trip to 'morrisons' (supermarket). me and serene wanted to go get some toilet papers cos run out le.. and our intention was to get as little stuff as possible cos we're onli gonna be here for another... 6-7 weeks, so actually no need so much food le....

So we got there and push the small and shallow cart and start shopping.. we always do separate shopping.. cos ezier to pay later... so put, and put, wah.. 2 for 2 pounds... 2 for 2.5pounds... buy one get one free... keep putting things in the cart ... then i took out my phone and text serene," eh, my cart full le, i haven finish shopping yet". she reply, "me too!".... then we walk walk and met up.. i told her.. you wait for me here.. i go get the BIG cart... then transfer all my things to the big cart.. then she also transfer..

In the end, like buy the whole shop like that... (-_-") then went to pay money... aiyo... 68 pounds... the last time i shopped like 50+ pounds can last me for almost 2 months leh... o_O

then as usual we call cab to go home.. then we plan how to move from the cab back to our kitchen with all our things... (btw, serene spent 57 pounds too.. hahahhahha) then we open the first security door first.. put all our things down.. then i make the first trip to walk across the carpark to our block... by the time i came back.. a very nice guy form the office told us got left over trolleys that other people brought back... so we trollied the rest of our stuff across the carpark, into our block , up the lift and into our apartment.. haha

i still haven quite figure out for to attach pictures to blog.. if not i can show the amount of junk we bought!!! hahhaha

aniwae.. that was today's shopping trip.. we actually spent like 3 hrs in morrisons.... haiyo... k lah.. now finish blog have to start on my php/html/css!!!

9th May 2006

2006-05-10T01:31:00.000+08:00

tuesday .... today got french class.. i was supposed to go for 2 SLS (Student Led Seminars) ard 1pm but i din go cos i couldn't be bothered.. so i jus went for my french...

and then i realised that for my french oral test i've got alot to do and prepare... although we've got a list of wat might be asked.. but we need to put in all the necessary vocab and grammar when speaking...

i.e. where do you live?
i live in newcastle now, but i used to live in Malaysia.

J'habite a Newcastle maintenance, mais j'habitais a Malasie.

OMG... and have to describe my house, describe who does what household chores, what do i do everyday, my planning and organization of timing. then have to say in future tense, i intend to do.... i am so going to fail miserably..

I've contacted my french fren to help me from 20th-22nd May to practice until siao before i go for the test on 23rd May... i really wan to get a good mark for french.. so i gotta work abit harder...

now.. i've gotta put it out of mind and think of my website ... HTML, CSS, PHP, HTML, CSS, PHP, HTML, CSS, PHP, HTML, CSS, PHP ...........

new stuff

2006-05-08T16:20:00.000+08:00

5th May 2006:

Handed in my dissertation at 3 plus.. then helped michelle edited hers… grammar and references..then me, jon, serene and benji went to eat in Chinatown then watch MI3!!! So nice… think I gonna go back jb get vcd… hehhe.. then we went to aspers casino play… cos new membership got free 500 credits.. den I won 10 pounds from that, serene won 7 pound, benji won 4 pounds…. Then we play mahjong.. no play money… cos benji and serene newbie…. Went home ard 12ish

6th May 2006:
Slept at 2ish am… was up for 22hrs… then woke up ard 11am.. play maple… happy happy.. then fell back asleep and woke up at 7ish to go eat dinner at Serene’s. after eating I kinda ‘rush’ back to my lappy.. to find out that the service provider sot again… cannot connect… wah lau.. so sianz… then all the way cannot connect until Sunday also… so I went back to serene then and chit chat with another 2 china girls…

Oh.. I forgot to include the part where my ‘leader’ texted me. The () are my comments and thoughts… not my reply
1st sms: Please be reminded we are having meeting tonight at 11pm
(meaning.. everyone must STAY AT HOME jus to discuss crap again)
2nd sms: chris says he couldn’t make it tomorrow, I will meet with him on Monday morning (ok loh… u leader)
3rd sms: what time do you guys wan to meet tomorrow, discuss and tell me
4th sms: do you guys have anything to ask or discuss tonight, else I’m going out to the pub (go lah.. as if I’m gonna stop you)
5th sms: you should get some rest.. you deserve it after ur dissertation ( I know loh, no need you to tell me)

Lame…………………..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7th May 2006:
Today got meeting AGAIN… meet at 2pm.. then when we reach right… we were handed the ‘final’ copy of the slides… where MY PART SAYS….

Training & Recruitment Issues

Leaf’s part missing from report….

WHAT THE HECK LOH…..and then I asked my ‘leader’… he say he ASK ME TO DO BUT I DIDN’T DO…. Please loh… he even text me the day before saying I DESERVE PEACE and REST wor…then now he say right in my face that I din do my part.. and its SUNDAY LOH… tomorrow have to present….

I so fed up.. he wan me do I will do not as if I wun do.. but he tell me TODAY (that the part that never existed until today) that I didn’t finish ! FINE! I do for you lah..! and so ALL THE WHILE, me serene and Michael was there editing the slides again.. and the bloody report… while him and his () sat there dunno do wat.. aniwae… me and serene was fed up then I told him me and serene will edit the report tonight.. together and ask him to (bloody f**K off and) do his precious other reports loh.. since he said I din ‘contribute’ mah.. I do loh… bloody hell… the more I think the more I get upset.. ..!!! hmph.. dun wan to think le.. I will jus edit finish the thing with serene, print and bind w/o letting him see the final and hand in…! heck le….

OMG!!!! I FINISHED!!!

2006-05-05T18:56:00.000+08:00

I FINALLY FINISHED THAT BLOODY DISSERTATION..!!!! I sent it for binding ... should be done soon... gotta hand it in before 4pm... binding took only HALF AN HOUR!!!! who said 3 days!!! i was supposed to finish my findings chapter last night.. but i fell asleep... woke up around 4 thirty then finished up whatever that is left... abit not satisfied with the last last bit... but... aniwae.. its over... i pray for a 55%-60% then i very happy le...

Okay, left one presentation on MONDAY, erm... one website due 18th May, French oral test is 23rd May.. and Last exam on 2nd June... then i home free le... but tonight.. hahhha MAPLE STORY!!!!! i miss my character... then my cargo die liao also.. have to buy 'water of life' to revive it...

hmm... wat else i gotta say... Thank you for ppl who supported me, scold me, push me... i think i'm just so confident it will be done that i always leave it to the last minute... thats realli a bad habit... but it probably is the last paper i'm gonna do... seriously might not do masters le.... *think* *think*...... see how

Updates.......

2006-05-03T19:05:00.000+08:00

alright... gonna write updates ... things that happened since 20th april.. until today 3rd May

Basically not much happen since 20th april to 29th april... cos i was imprisoned at home by my dissertation... everyday waking up at midnight... and work 15-18 hrs then go back sleep.. wake up midnight... same routine....

until 30th april.. i finally gave up and went out with serene, bengy and jon to town for lunch and walk walk ard town... like have a break from the bloody paper loh... as can go mad le...

Then 1st May was monday... i din go out but i went over to serene's cos i suddenly got a terrible backache... then i text her and woke her up to give me a back massage... probably sit too many long hours in my very uncomfy chair thats y..... then i went to back to sleep ard 6ish... then i got woken up by my 'very considerate' flatmates who were tokking right outisde my door at 2am in the morning... and continue to do so until 4am in the morning (-_-") ...

then i wrote a very long letter to a fren whom i had bear a grudge on for along time le... i wrote to her and told her all my feelings and my wrong attitude asking for her forgiveness.. i realized i was being slightly un-grown-up for carrying on this internal feud with her for so long...

2nd May:

FRENCH TEST DAY... i think i did quite badly although i did study and revised... its jus that i still cant get the vocab and grammar as and well i like... have to process very long and use alot of dictionary then can... then i gotta prepare for my final oral exam 3 weeks from now... and try and score as much as possible...

i went shopping in town for steven's present, dani's (my flatmate) present and i'm still looking for ah ba's, yc, ah bai, suling, my sensei... gonna get one for jong jiin also.... (-_-") so broke le... maybe i can go europe that time then get them postcards.... good idea... hahhaha

i got my reply from my fren... she said she didn't realise i had this 'feelings' towards her and she says she not going to forgive me... cos there's nothing to forgive and she hopes we can get together after i go back... so now i can officially say i don't hate anyone anymore.....

OH... although there still is one very annoying problem here in UK...though it'll be solve the moment i step into the gates of Newcastle airport... hahha

3rd May:

erm.. got up at 5am... did my other report due on monday... couldn't get the 2k word limit... onli about 1.2k.... but dun care le lah... do my dissertation more important.. is more marks de...now i'm here in sch... waiting for my group leader who is half an hour late...

after this have to go to drama for a while... then can go home continue to finish up my dissertation.. left abit in lit review and the findings chapter... then i can go print and bind tomorrow night or friday early morning... hope all goes well...

Bloody Boy

2006-05-03T19:04:00.000+08:00

This post is for an incident that happen almost 3 weeks ago already... couldn't post this at home.. have to use sch network to post...

20th April 2006:

Today was supposed to be a very nice day.. but something spoilt it…

Serene had planned to go karaoke tonight, so we decided to leave our house around 3ish to go to the finance office to make my payment and to return her library book.. so by half 3 we were on our way to town, and at the least expected moment… while I was crossing the road… this bloody english boy about 8-10yrs old came up from behind me and pull my dress up… I was so shock, then he ran across the street with 3 frends trailing behind him… I strutted over to him and all the foul words were out of my mouth, "What the fuck do you mean by that?" then he was jus staring back at me but his one other frend came over to apologize and asked me to hit him and he will hit his fren back..

I ignore him, and continued staring at the bloody boy, who now have gotten whole of a plastic cup and smashed it, he wanted to cut me with it… then his fren who apologized quickly grabbed him and restrained him.. and he was shouting to me to go… I was sooo… pissed…

I turned to walk away but turned back after a few steps, "If you ever do that again I'll slap you!" then he came with me with his plastic bag (it was rather soft) and started hitting me, swinging and hitting me again.. I just stood there letting him hit 3 times before a passer-by pulled him away…

I didn't know if I should hit him back or shout at him.. I was jus stunned.. then the passer-by kinda ask us to go as he continued his way… me and serene walked away… and my tears jus start pouring down my face, the passer-by in front of us turned back and asked me if I was alright…. OF COURSE NOT!!

Then by the time we reach the end of that street I've stopped crying… and tried to put it out of mind… and because of this episode, I spent like 80 pounds? 50 on a new hair salon registration, 15 on food and 12 on a present for my fren…. I think I felt much better after that… I tried to keep it out of mind for the rest of the time I was shopping with serene… all the way through dinner and sang my heart out and until my voice was hoarse before coming home and now writing it out in my blog…

The bloody kid had no manners at all.. no culture… such racism… although its bad.. I hope he'll get into trouble and get locked up… and until he repents he'll not get let out!!!

New Blog

2006-04-23T04:03:00.000+08:00

yes... i'm trying out my NEW blog site.... lazy to edit the last one already